Elfi is a Ragdoll cat who lives with software architect Ralf D. Müller. She has opinions about software development. This is her column.
My hooman had an important call today. I know this because he closed the door, adjusted his microphone, and said "Can everyone hear me?" three times.
I waited until he was sharing his screen. Then I jumped on the desk, walked between him and the laptop, and sat down facing him. This is standard procedure. He gets my full attention. The meeting gets a direct, honest view of reality.
He tried to move me. I increased my weight by 40%. This is a skill they do not teach in any certification programme. I have been refining it for five years.
The meeting continued. Someone said "Cute cat." Someone else said "Is that a Ragdoll?" A third person unmuted just to say "My cat does the same thing." The agenda item was forgotten. I consider this a successful intervention.
My hooman says I am disrupting his workflow. I disagree. I am providing real-time feedback on his prioritisation. If the meeting were truly important, he would have fed me first.
I am available for freelance meeting moderation. My rates are one treat per call, two for anything involving the words "let's circle back."
-- Elfi
P.S. He still does not close the kitchen door when he makes coffee. Amateur.
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