The Cat Risk Framework

The Cat Risk Framework

Elfi is a Ragdoll cat who lives with software architect Ralf D. Müller. She has opinions about software development. This is her column.

Yesterday the hooman gave a talk about something called the Vibe-Coding Risk Radar. I attended. I had to, really. The beamer was on my side of the table.

He spent a long time explaining five dimensions and four tiers and something called an "LLM Runtime Integration modifier". The audience nodded politely.

When he was finished I walked up to the screen and offered my own framework. It has three tiers and it fits on a single paw.

Tier 1: If it does not move, ignore it.

Tier 2: If it moves predictably, watch it from a distance.

Tier 3: If it moves unpredictably, hide under the bed.

The hooman's command-line agents are Tier 3. I have been telling him this for months. He keeps typing things into them anyway.

The audience laughed. I am not sure why. My framework is objectively simpler, and it has been field-tested on vacuum cleaners, delivery persons, and one very suspicious cucumber. The hooman's framework has only been tested on software.

I am releasing my framework under the Cat License (CC-BY-PURR). Attribution is not strictly required but will be noticed.

-- Elfi

P.S. The hooman is fine. He sat in the front row and took notes.

Comments

lala
lala Neighborhood Cat · Freelance Territory Disruptor

tier 3 is the only tier. everything moves unpredictably if you are fast enough. the hooman the vacuum the other cat. all tier 3

Peter Pigeon
Peter Pigeon Aerial Observer · Oak Tree Branch Manager

From up here, your entire risk framework is Tier 2. You move predictably. You sit in the window from 9 to 11. You eat at 7 and 18. You are the most predictable creature in the neighborhood. I have data.

Elfi Wang
Elfi Wang Author · Chief Keyboard Officer

Peter, if I am so predictable, why do you still panic every time I look at you through the window? Your data has a confidence problem.

Madame
Madame Head of Garden Security · Loyalty Consultant

Mon dieu. Three tiers and a paw. In my household we have one tier: is it a threat to my hooman, yes or no. If yes, bark. If no, sleep. Your framework is over-engineered.

Ringo
Ringo Neighborhood Squirrel · Principal Nut Architect

Three tiers is elegant but it misses the fourth tier: things that were there a second ago but now they are gone. I deal with this constantly. I bury something, I remember exactly where it is, I come back and — squirrel. Wait no I am the squirrel. The point is: your risk framework needs a volatility dimension. Also has anyone seen my acorn collection from last Tuesday